Thursday, 19 July 2012

God - The Psychopath test

When it comes to God's mental disorders multiple personality disorder (Father, Son, Holy Ghost) is a given. Having been introduced to Robert D. Hare's Psychopathy Check list through Jon Ronson's excellent book, I thought I would try it out to see whether he was a psychopath as well.

The check list consists of 20 personality traits. The subject scores 0, 1 or 2 points on each. A normal person will end up with around 5 points out of the 40 possible. A psychopath 30 or more.

God's personality traits

1. GLIB and SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- Score 2 - Two billion follows attest to this one.

2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- Score 2 - "Thou shalt have none other gods before me."

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION or PRONENESS TO BOREDOM -- Score 2 - Why else would he create life, the universe and everything?

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- Score 2 - See 2chronicles 18:22  "behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of these thy prophets." He not only lies but made a special lying spirit.

5. CUNNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS- Score 2- See 2 Thessalonians 2:11-12 "God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth."  

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- Score 2 - Wiped out the whole of civilisation apart from one family. Any sign of an apology?

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- Score 2 - Happy to have Job's life ruined over a bet with Satan.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- Score 2 - Matthew 12:48 tells is the charming tale where Jesus refuses to see his mother "Who is my mother?" he chides.

9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- Score 2 - Jesus went from town to town taking money from the poor.

10. POOR BEHAVIOURAL CONTROLS -- Score 2- You don't kill 2,552,451+ people without some control issue

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR -- Score 2- Getting another man's wife pregnant, come on.

12. EARLY BEHAVIOUR PROBLEMS -- Score 2 - Jesus ran away from his parents on a trip to Jerusalem at the age of 12

13. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- Score 2 - 'As surely as I live,' says the Lord, 'every knee will bow before me; every tongue will confess to God'. Sorry it just isn't happening.

14. IMPULSIVITY -- Score 2 - Remember Jesus' meltdown at the temple?

15. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- Score 2 - Fancy giving all those biblical rules on keeping slaves. Of course people would follow them

16. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- Score 2 - Issiah 27:11 God will show no mercy to those who do not understand him. He clearly needs to realise that communication is a two way process.

17. MANY SHORT-TERM MARITAL RELATIONSHIPS -- Score 2 - Given we are told marriage is the union of one man and one woman for life any short term relationship is wrong. For abandoning Asherah, Yahweh picks up full points.

18. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- Score 2 - Running away and arguing with priests. 

19. REVOCATION OF CONDITION RELEASE -- Score  2 - Before  he was released from this mortal coil Jesus made a promise to return. Well.....

20. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- Score 2- Drowning, famine, smiting, burning, plague, buried alive, stoning, hanging, beheading & mutilation by bears. That is just how God killed children. Two is barely a high enough score for this one.

So it 40 out of 40. God is officially a psychopath. If you have read the bible you would probably have suspected as much but it is nice to have it confirmed.

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